snap and the breakup we didn’t know we needed
We’ve all been there — the ex who nearly decimated us into shells of ourselves. On paper, they looked solid: charming, driven, said all the right things. They made endless promises about everything we thought we wanted or needed.
Then, slowly, the cracks appeared. Their actions stopped aligning with their words — if they ever truly did. Instead of leaning in when you raised concerns, they dismissed and invalidated you. Lied, gaslit, twisted reality until you started to question your own.
You felt the unease, that gut whisper that something was off, but you pushed it down. Because someone who seemed that capable, that confident — they couldn’t possibly be that cruel, right?
Until one day, the mask slips. You see the monster underneath. But by then, you’ve been drained of so much power you start to believe you need them — the very person who broke you — to escape the web they spun. And just when you’re hanging on by a thread, they discard you and move on to the next source to feed from.
The SNAP saga is our government’s proverbial mask slip.
It’s a collective moment of realization that something, in actuality, has been askew.
The beautiful part? Just like our narcissistic ex, we don’t need them the way we’ve been led to believe we do. However, the hard-to-swallow truth is that we’re in deep—and, as my Uncle Clarence used to say, “it takes a little to fall into trouble, and a whole lot more to get yourself out of it.”
There’s work ahead.
The gift of being human is that we are remarkably resilient, especially when we come together for a common goal. We can accomplish more than we ever thought possible. This is a time to lean into community on a level we haven’t seen for decades if not centuries. This can feel daunting in a world centered on digital connection, but maybe that’s the invitation: to disconnect in order to reconnect. To remember the strength that exists beyond algorithms and institutions, and to keep in mind that said institutions are also in shacking up with our proverbial ex.
There are so many ways to support each other that don’t require wealth — sharing knowledge on low-cost meals, utilizing local pantries, and community refrigerators, skill swapping, child care exchanges, neighborhood resource circles, dinner nights. This is the time to be creative, and shift the collective mindset that the single solution rests in the hands of our government. That myth is being demystified in live time. Outrage is understandable, even inevitable - but outrage alone won’t sustain us long term. This is a season for acceptance, collaboration, and grounded action.
If the system is our narcissistic ex, then healing begins the moment we stop waiting for their apology—and start building something real for ourselves.
